Sunday Snippet June 28, 2015

Skipping ahead a bit. Taliya has finally left her mother’s house and the first thing she did was call her friend, Belyn, to give him a head’s up about the influx of new applicants he was likely to get for his employment agency.  When he heard what had happened he insisted on taking her to dinner and having her spend the night in his guest room.  This is the next morning.

(For anyone new to this, I’m posting excerpts from Onyx Sun, a science fiction novel currently in the first round of edits.)

The usual creative punctuation warnings apply.

Belyn is speaking first.


“Stay as long as you need to.”

“No.  She knows my friends and she assumes I’ll be staying with them:  I don’t want her to be right, and I also don’t want her to be harassing all of you because of me.”

He waved that off.  “Where will you go?” he asked, worried.

“I don’t…”  She smiled suddenly.  “My father’s.”

“Your father’s? But…”

“I know.  I haven’t heard from him in years and he was never really a part of my life.  But I always felt closer to him than I ever did to her.”   She sighed as she saw the time.  “I have to go.  I’m expected at Aelind’s office at nine o’clock.”

Belyn raised an eyebrow.

“To be given my inheritance,” she said in a clipped mocking imitation of her mother’s voice.




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Filed under writing

12 responses to “Sunday Snippet June 28, 2015

  1. Adding the father to the story is a nice twist! Well done.

  2. Wonder if Maureena has blocked communication between father and daughter? Wouldn’t surprise me . . .

    I love it when Taliya doesn’t react the way Maureena expects! :D

  3. siobhanmuir

    I like that last line, P.T. Great snippet. :)

  4. Karen Michelle Nutt

    I’m curious about her father. Can’t wait to know more about him.

  5. I hope her father’s nicer than mommie-dearest! :)

  6. This is really a fascinating story and I’m sure the father will be adding some twists and turns too. Great snippet!

  7. I bet Mama kept her father away from her. Can’t stand that woman so you’ve done a great job with the characterization.

  8. This continues to be an interesting story. The father angle provides fertile ground for a lot of things to happen. Nice work!

  9. Oh well hello, new development now? Didn’t see the father aspect getting thrown in there, that sounds like it’s about to make things interesting. Belyn seems like a great friend to her, and I like how he dismisses Maureena as well. Lol.
    Great snippet, P.T.!

  10. Have to wonder what this ‘inheritance’ might involve…. The father, oh… I’m sure he’s going to stir the pot some, but the inheritance just sounds ominous when it come via her mother’s voice.

  11. chellecordero

    Sure mommie-dearest will try to block her inheritance – hope her father won’t be there hoping to grab whatever she gets. Veery interesting dynamics.

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