Sunday Snippet November 1, 2015

Continuing with Onyx Sun.  Revisions are on hold for November while I tackle NaNoWriMo, with a personal goal of 60,000 words this month.

We’re getting more insight into Maureena, Taliya’s mother and currently Sunday Snippets most hated character.

 

“That explains a lot about why she has so little regard for things that don’t make money for her.  She would destroy an entire planet as long as she got more money from it than she lost.”

He nodded.  “Her parents didn’t really have anything to leave her, and since I was an only child, my mother – Ardelia – pushed us to get married. We really had nothing in common, but between the two of them, and duty to the family line, I didn’t really have that much choice.”

“You couldn’t have been happy in that marriage.  I cannot imagine you and my mother together.  And Grandmother – that doesn’t sound like her at all.”

“I don’t think Ardelia realized at first what Maureena was like.  You may have noticed that she is quite good at concealing what she thinks as long as she gets what she wants.”

Taliya gave a snort of agreement that clearly said that that was the greatest understatement in the galaxy.

“She… forced herself…. to endure my touch, but only until she became pregnant. But after she got the daughter that she wanted…”  He shook his head.

“I’m not the daughter she wanted,” Taliya interrupted.  “I’m the daughter she got, but not the one she wanted.”

He chuckled.  “True,” he admitted.  “She wanted a daughter, but you definitely did not turn out to be the daughter that she wanted.”  He shook his head.  “I am so proud of you for the way you have stood up to her and become your own person.”

“I couldn’t have without Grandmother… and without you.  I remember… I remember the stories you used to tell me and…”  She drew a long, shuddering breath and motioned for him to continue.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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7 Comments

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7 responses to “Sunday Snippet November 1, 2015

  1. That is a very nice conversation, an open conversation, between father and daughter. Very real.

  2. siobhanmuir

    I like this conversation, but you repeated “that she wanted” four times in three paragraphs. You might consider varying it to say the same thing, like:
    “She… forced herself…. to endure my touch, but only until she became pregnant. But after she got the daughter that she wanted…” He shook his head.

    “I’m not the daughter she wanted,” Taliya interrupted. “I’m the daughter she got.”

    He chuckled. “True,” he admitted. “You definitely did not turn out to be the one she expected.”
    It’s the same conversation without repeating and it reads easier. Good snippet, P.T., and good luck with NaNo. 🙂

  3. Enjoying this highly unusual conversation between father and daughter. A LOT of water under the bridge here. Great snippet.

  4. I still love this line: “I’m not the daughter she wanted,” Taliya interrupted. “I’m the daughter she got, but not the one she wanted.” I find so much sass in it.
    And the one about the biggest understatement in the galaxy, perfect.

    Great snippet, as always.

  5. Karen Michelle Nutt

    Nice conversation between father and daughter. Glad she isn’t the daughter her mother had hoped for. Good luck with NaNo.

  6. That’s so emotional. In a way I feel sorry for Maureena but in another, I still think she needs a huge slap and a reality check.

  7. The more i know about her mom the more i loath her. Great job.

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