Sunday Snippet October 4, 2015

Skipping a few lines of conversation from last week’s post. Taliya has just told her father that she’s buying a small cargo ship that is also equipped to carry passengers.  He offered to help her but she declined.


“I’ll be fine.  The broker is trying to get financing arranged for me, but if he doesn’t…” She took a deep breath.  “Grandmother apparently suspected that my mother and I would have a falling out, so she set up a trust fund for me – or an un-trust fund as she called it – because she didn’t trust my mother not to try to rob me blind after she died.”

Taliya swallowed hard; her grandmother’s death still hurt and yet it still didn’t seem real.  “I don’t quite understand what she meant unless she suspected that she would kick me out.”  Her eyes closed briefly.  “But being kicked out isn’t the worst part.”

“What is?”

“She… I had a lover, Luzita.  She lived with us, but when Grandmother died she insisted that Luz pay for back room and board but she had no money… I was off-planet and when I got back…”  Her voice choked off again.  “When I got back my mother had sold Luz to a slaver.”

“No wonder you called her a bitch yesterday.”

Taliya stared at him for a moment and laughed even as tears streamed down her cheeks. 

“But about your mother robbing you blind…”

Taliya shook her head.  “No.  I know she inherits, I understand that.”

“No she doesn’t.”

Taliya stared at him.

“Your mother is not the heiress.  You are.”












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Filed under writing

9 responses to “Sunday Snippet October 4, 2015

  1. Oooh, that last line is bombshell! Grandma was a wise woman. :-) Good voice. The dialogue feels quite natural.

  2. Oops! That’s some news. I wonder what she’ll do with it. She still needs to go find Luzita. I’m sure her mother sold her to send her away then maybe she’ll die trying and the mother would inherit. Wow that would be insane!

  3. chellecordero

    Whoa, I did not see that line coming! And now we know how untrustworthy the lawyer was as he never said anything about that to her either. I guess Maureena never expected her daughter to meet up with her father and find out the truth. Very good snippet.

  4. siobhanmuir

    Oh my! That should piss off Maureena. Great snippet, P.T. :)

  5. elainecsc2013

    Yippee! Awful mama doesn’t inherit, but I bet there’ll be a lot of conflict in her future.

  6. Karen Michelle Nutt

    Oh that last line was a doozy. She’s the heiress. What a way to find out. Guess her mother wasn’t going to tell her.

  7. Surprise, surprise! Love the twist, didn’t see it coming. I’m puzzled why your character doesn’t get much sympathy about losing her lover, thanks to her mother’s machinations. That’s an interesting thread to me. Can’t wait to see what happens next – great snippet!

  8. Hmmm. That’s quite the turn of events. The opportunities for serving righteous comeuppance have just increased tenfold. Nice work!

  9. Oh that last line is just as sweet as the first time I read it. Love the twist.

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