Sunday Snippet August 9, 2015

More from Onyx Sun, a science fiction novel currently in second round edits, with hopes of finding its way to a beta reader or two in another week or so. (My pre-beta reader is already nagging for a sequel.)

Picking up from last week, with Taliya opening the box her grandmother had left for her at Starborne Fiduciary.  When she opened the box, an image of her grandmother appeared on the screen set into the lid, and started talking.

This goes over the sentence limit despite my best efforts at creative punctuation.  Ardelia got a bit talkative and there’s just no good way to interrupt the dead.


“Taliya, I know you are feeling hurt and confused right now, and I’m going to guess that with my passing things between you and Maureena have devolved into near warfare.  I’ve been expecting it for a long time, so I took the liberty of establishing an un-trust fund for you.  I am calling it an un-trust fund because I started it because I don’t trust your mother not to try to rob you blind after my death; in fact, I trust that she will.

“I was a fool in a lot of ways, but I promise you, Taliya, that everything will work out in your favor if you are only patient.  You have gifts you have not even begun to realize yet.

“Meanwhile, this box contains a letter of introduction to an old friend of mine, Ivo Cheyne. Go to him if you need any assistance: he is an attorney and he knows all about you.  You can trust him.

“Now, about other matters.  The HoverWing is yours, of course, free and clear; it was a gift and your mother has no say in it.  The jewelry in this box is also yours.  The pieces have been passed down for generations and they are now yours to do with as you wish.  I was going to ask you not to sell them, to keep them safe and keep them in the family, but what do I care? I’m dead and you are alive and may have need of the money they will bring.”

She sighed.  “I do wish I could still be there. Not to guide you – you’ll do just fine on your own – but to go on adventures with you.  And that brings me to one final thing.

My instructions to the crematorium were for my ashes to be held for you to collect.  Please scatter my ashes some place that I would have liked to go.  I have spent too much of my life bound to Pendelia Four:  please don’t leave me here in death as well.”



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Filed under writing

12 responses to “Sunday Snippet August 9, 2015

  1. I like the grandmother from only those few words, and children are usually more like their grandparents, so Taliya will turn out great. What a wonderful snippet.

  2. It’s good that she had an hidden will that Maureena can’t interfere with. I still believe that Maureena needs to be punched in the face but I guess that will be for later.

  3. I missed this story so much, Paula!

    I went back and read what I missed—I love Taliya’s grandmother. And that last line! Simply beautiful.

  4. The grandmother is wonderful, even from the great beyond! Really enjoyed the snippet, wonder if the awful mother is so easily thwarted though. (You’ve got me deep into this story!)

  5. Very emotional letter. Her grandmother loved her so much. I hope she is able to keep the jewelry. Great scene. 🙂

  6. Karen Michelle Nutt

    You gotta love her grandmother for thinking of her and knowing she needed to protect her when she was gone.

  7. chellecordero

    Her grandmother was a wise woman. I love how she has provided for her supposedly in a way that Maureena can’t interfere (although I am sure she will try). I am totally in love with the grandmother’s wishes about her ashes.

  8. elainecsc2013

    I loved this excerpt.

  9. Oh man, that last line just gave me CHILLS! I love how she called it an un-trust fund. That’s a gem of a play on words. I simply love the grandmother’s words and attitude and I really wish she was alive and not dead for Taliya. Keep going! I want to read this whole novel! You hear me, P.T.? Edit faster. XD

  10. Wow. What an emotional heart felt scene. I still hate her mother so. You’ve done a great job with that.

  11. Gem

    Oh wow. What a wonderful message to her granddaughter. I’m hooked completely.

  12. Near warfare. That’s the understatement of the year. Messages from dead relatives can be very cliché. Yours isn’t. Nicely done.

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