Sunday Snippet May 10, 2015

Posting a few excerpts from a rough draft of a science fiction novel called The Onyx Sun. I’ve been ignoring it for a while, but since I don’t hate it anymore I’m starting editing it this month.

Keep in mind this is a very rough draft of something that I hadn’t even looked at for several months.  Also, the snippet has has probably been a victim of creative editing.

Summary:

Taliya Swann has been away from home negotiating a mining contract on another planet.  When she called to advise her mother (head of House/Company) that they had a contract, Maureena informed her that her grandmother had died the day before.  All that was left to look forward to was being reunited with her lover, Luzita.

Returning home, she was met by Regino, the butler, who told her that her grandmother’s funeral had been held the day she died.  Shortly after that she learned that Maureena had sold her lover into slavery because Luzita couldn’t afford to pay for her upkeep.  She brushed off Taliya’s outrage by saying she would find someone else, someone more suitable.

 

“Unlike you, Mother, I cannot turn my emotions on and off.  I can’t just go out and find someone else.”  She paused, locking eyes with her mother.  “Who did you sell her to?  What slave house?”

“What does it matter?”

“It matters.  I want Luzita back and I will find her.  Now, who did you sell her to?”

“An off-worlder, part of a merchant fleet.  I bought some wonderful Numali silk from another vendor there for less than half the market value.”

Taliya drew a deep breath, not caring now if Maureena saw her struggle for control.  “When?”

 

 

 

 

 

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11 Comments

Filed under writing

11 responses to “Sunday Snippet May 10, 2015

  1. I hope she find Luzita soon. great snippet.

  2. I’m getting the feeling more and more Taliya is about to either punch her mother or flip out on her. I’m betting on the former.

  3. Wow, a merchant fleet, that doesn’t sounds good at all. Now I wonder how Taliya feels about mother day!

  4. At least she didn’t trade Luzita for the silk . . . though I’m sure she would have.

  5. siobhanmuir

    Oh yeah, Taliya is gearing up for a rescue mission. Great snippet, P.T., and so glad you don’t hate it anymore. 🙂

  6. Wow her mom just seems to get worse and worse as these snippets go on!

  7. I don’t know how she keeps from being violent. I would have had the woman by the throat by now. Great scene.

  8. elainecsc2013

    That mama is awful.

  9. I hope Mom’s telling her enough to get the journey started in the right direction. Nice snippet! 🙂

  10. Karen Michelle Nutt

    I do hope she finds her. I have a hunch though it will not be so easy.

  11. Yikes. That’s some rough stuff there. Nicely done, Paula.

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