Sunday Snippet March 1, 2015

Switching to something different for a bit and posting something from a long-term project.

This snippet is from a scene in one of the books in The Academy of the Accord series, probably book five but I’m sort of rethinking things so maybe not.   (The series is still a work in progress and so is this scene.)

A couple notes first because regardless of where this scene ends up it’s dropping you into the middle of a book in the middle of a series.

The Academy of the Accord is a school that trains both wizards and warriors.

Wellhym (and Kordelm) are in charge of the first year cadets and are the seconds in command of the school’s garrison.

Jorsen is a first year cadet – roughly 10 years old. He is… sort of a laughing stock, picked on by kids that are more coordinated.

Marsden is the commander of the garrison. Vinadi is the headmaster of the school.

A Warder is a warrior with an instinct to protect wizards. (And I need to find a different word for “Warder” because it’s kind of hard to pronounce.)

 

The usual creative sentence structure warnings apply.

 

 

Wellhym was too far away to hear what had been said, but he didn’t need to hear the words: the mocking laughter and way Jorsen’s shoulders drooped as he hung his head and turned away from the other cadets told him all he needed to know and he glanced at Kordelm.

“Go.”

Anger burned in his partner’s eyes and Wellhym winced: he wouldn’t want to be the other cadets by the time Kordelm got through with them, but he put that thought out of his mind – they had earned whatever befell them – and focused on following Jorsen.

The cadet moved at a steady, measured pace as he passed the castle and started down the hill toward the orchard, but Wellhym could read the tension in his body – a tension he knew all too well – so he held back, staying just close enough to see where he was going:  he wanted to talk to the boy alone but he didn’t want to draw attention to him.   

Jorsen showed no sign of stopping and Wellhym began to worry that the boy was going to leave the grounds, but he finally stopped at a wall of boulders that formed a dike against the spring floods.  He leaned against it for a moment, then clambered up it and sat, staring down at the stream that came down from the mountain.   

Wellhym watched him, waiting until the shaking of his shoulders slowed before joining him on top of the wall.

The cadet jumped and turned to face him, nearly losing his balance as he scrambled to his feet.

 

 

 

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28 Comments

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28 responses to “Sunday Snippet March 1, 2015

  1. That’s going to be an interesting conversation. I can’t wait to hear what he has got to say.

  2. Oh, this extracted a well of emotions from me, Paula. Poor Jorsen! But it does seem that the Wellhym and Kordelm are about to take care of business. (I like the names!)

    Wonderful descriptions–it was easy to visualize.

    When I read warder, my mind is pronouncing it similar to a Philadelphian saying, “water”. But, if I replace the “e” with an “o” hence, wardor, it changes the pronunciation. Just a thought… 🙂

    • Thanks! I’m glad you liked it. (And there isn’t much that Wellhym and Kordelm can’t handle.)

      Yeah, the “warder” does sound like Souteastern PA “water.” (Lancaster pronounces it “warter” too.) It’s the two “r” sounds that make it difficult to say out loud, though.

  3. Gem

    Wellhym and Kordelm are all business but it’s cool that their business includes chastising bullies and comforting the target.

  4. Oh, that poor boy and his shaking shoulders (that sentence is perfect). Your characters have a way of yanking at my heartstrings, Paula.

    I have no problems reading “Warder”, but I can understand the potential problems with future audiobooks. 🙂 I do like the protective feel of “Ward”, though . . . would “Warden” work?

    • Thanks, Sarah. And if my characters yank your heartstrings you’re either going to love or hate this series.

      “Warden” has a connotation of “jailer” more than “protector” so that’s sort of out too. I think I might have to invent a word. *sigh* Ah, well, I still have 4 books of the series to write so hopefully I’ll come up with something better by then.

  5. Reblogged this on Cecilia Corona and commented:
    Want something new to read? Check this out.

  6. Can’t wait to hear their convo. Great snippet, you can really feel the emotions here.

  7. Karen Michelle Nutt

    Poor, poor Jorsen! Loved the scene- could see it perfectly in my mind. Love the names, but I can see what you mean when you say Warder out loud. If you’re going for a word that means guard or watchman… How about Warden, Wardon, Wardein, Wardeyn? 🙂

    • Thanks. Glad you liked it and that it worked.

      I need something that has a feeling of “protector” — “warden” is too much like a jailer. I might hit the thesaurus again although so far it hasn’t been helpful.

      • Karen Michelle Nutt

        How about…
        Walmond- protector in battle
        Grimaldo- mighty protector
        Kavalan- protector
        Reamonn- wise protector(German)
        Elden- protector (English)
        Allister- protector and helper (Scottish)
        Aylward- noble protector (English)
        Langward- tall guardian (Native American)
        Warmond or Warmund- true guardian (English)
        Garin- guardian (French)

        Just throwing out a few names… lol Love names and their meanings. Best of luck finding your character’s name. 🙂

  8. siobhanmuir

    You could always change “warder” to “guardian” like in The Librarians. Great snippet, P.T. 🙂

    • Glad you liked it.

      The thing is, the name needs to reflect the history of the wizard and warrior pairing. Originally (right after the end of the Wizard Wars) the intent was that the wizard had to have a warrior travel with him to protect the populace from the wizard — the warrior was to kill the wizard if he violated the Accord. But it turned out that the wizards were in more danger from the populace than vice versa so the warriors found themselves protecting the wizards. And regardless of who was being protected, the tradition/law that a wizard above the level of apprentice cannot travel without a warrior has continued.

      And that is one of the main themes/threads running through the books.

      (Yes, I may be in over my head with this series…)

  9. Great snippet. Can’t wait to find out what they other cadets’ punishment is and to hear the conversation Jorsen and Wellhym. 🙂

    • Thanks! This is going to focus just on Jorsen and Wellhym, but in the novel itself the outcome of Kordelm’s dressing down of the other cadets will be addressed.

  10. Very interesting snippet. I like how the bullies were put in their place and hope the conversation with Jorsen will do him good.

    • Thanks! Kordelm has a bit of a temper *cough cough* so they’re in for it. And as for Jorsen, wait and see. (But Wellhym does have a way of soothing hurts.)

  11. elainecsc2013

    You made me feel so sorry for the boy, but I think the other cadets may be sorry for the way they treated him. You showed a lot about the boys in such a small excerpt.

  12. Ohhhh, I know how this goes down! Love the whole scene. 🙂

  13. I felt sorry for Jorsen also (I hate bullies). Nice snippet.

  14. Good stuff, Paula. You tap into a bunch of emotional responses that we’ve all had at one time or another, making this a very powerful scene.

  15. Great scene. very intense. It’ll be interesting to find out which way the conversation is going to go.

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