Sunday Snippet December 28, 2014

This is an excerpt from this year’s NaNoWriMo novel, which is still a WiP and which doesn’t have a real title yet. (The Word doc is called “T&A” for Ta’elsin and Arrek, the main characters, but I gave it a working title of Betrayal for NaNo and Wattpad purposes.)

This excerpt picks up from last week’s post.

(This is a very rough first draft and may or may not have been creatively edited to fit the 10 sentence limit.)


“What’s with you?” Berrebren demanded.

“What – what is this place?”

Berrebren frowned and glanced at the building.  “The Temple of Misdem. You were imprisoned here, weren’t you?”

Ta’elsin swallowed hard and nodded:  he was still shaking and he willed his muscles to stop but they ignored him.  “I know it was a long time ago, and it shouldn’t still bother me, especially as I don’t have any really clear memories of it, but I can’t help it, I…”

“It wasn’t that bad,” Berrebren snapped.   “You survived.  And you met Sagyl because of what happened, became a wizard because of what happened.”

“No, it wasn’t all bad,” Ta’elsin agreed softly, but it wasn’t Sagyl’s face that he saw, but a pair of warm brown eyes, a hand holding his own, wrapping a blanket around him. He closed his eyes, holding to the memory of the blanket.


(The prologue is available on Wattpad if you’d like some background information.)


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Filed under writing

23 responses to “Sunday Snippet December 28, 2014

  1. “It wasn’t that bad?” O_o

    Was Berrebren there ? Would he like to be?

    Can you arrange that, Paula? :D

  2. siobhanmuir

    Good on him that he can remember the good in all the hurt. Good snippet, P.T.

  3. Man, I want to slap Berrebren for making that comment! Poor Ta’elsin is still shaking and he dares say it wasn’t that bad??? Tsk tsk. Great snippet!

  4. Karen Michelle Nutt

    Truly Berrebren needs a smack on the back of the head. Not that bad? Really?

    I am glad Ta’elsin is also remembering something good. I wonder who the warm brown eyes belong to.

    Hope you have a Happy New Year!!

  5. Gem

    Whoa, Berrebren is harsh. I’m interested to find out why. Guilt? Bolstering? Jerk? :D Happy New Year!

  6. elainecsc2013

    Oh, the poor guy. He was just a kid when this happened to him. Berrbren isn’t very sympathetic to him either.

  7. I like how somewhat broken their relationship is. Berrenbren being harsh versus Ta’elsin keeping information for himself. Interesting dynamics!

  8. Good stuff. You reveal a lot about these characters here, and drop an intriguing hint about the past.

  9. I wonder who’s held the blanket for him. Interesting snippet.

  10. I wonder what made his reply so harsh. And loved the blanket, awesome snippet.

  11. “It wasn’t that bad?” Even if his mind can seem to accept that, his body is reacting to the place, what the hell, it seems that it was TERRIBLE!

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