Sunday Snippet December 14, 2014

This is an excerpt from this year’s NaNoWriMo novel, which is still a WiP.  It doesn’t have a real title yet. (The Word doc is called “T&A” for Ta’elsin and Arrek, the main characters, but I gave it a working title of Betrayal for NaNo and Wattpad purposes.)

This excerpt skips ahead a few lines from last week.   Ta’elsin and Berrebren are inside the city gates and approaching what appears to be a mansion.   Berrebren is the first speaker.

(This is a very rough first draft and may or may not have been creatively edited to fit the 10 sentence limit.)


“I don’t suppose I need to tell you to be careful in the city, do I?  You’ll be safe enough here,” Berrebren nodded toward the building, “and in the castle itself, but the home base of the Temple of Misdem is here and its clerics don’t like wizards.”

Ta’elsin’s mind shied away from another half remembered memory.  “What is this place?” he asked, searching for safer ground.

“It’s a guest house of sorts, maintained by the Crown for visiting dignitaries – including wizards.”

“But if the Temple of Misdem hates wizards so much why do they allow this place to stand?”

“Because the Crown wants it here and they don’t dare go against the king – yet.  It may happen someday but for right now they follow the King’s Rule.”

Ta’elsin glanced briefly at the older man and then stared at the building before them, not particularly reassured by Berrebren’s words.

“Don’t worry, boy — you’ll be with me and the clerics won’t bother us.”

Ta’elsin nodded: somehow he knew that was true but the memories remained just out of reach – fleeting images that he wasn’t sure were real.


(The prologue is available on Wattpad if you’d like some background information.)


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26 responses to “Sunday Snippet December 14, 2014

  1. Great snippet. I really want to know what these memories are. :)

    • Thanks! The memories are in the prologue. (It’s in an even rougher state than the current excerpts, though, so if you read it please ignore my notes to myself, fill in missing words, don’t look at the overly repetitive words and phrases, and ignore grammar issues.)

  2. I have a feeling that when Ta’elsin’s memories come back, it won’t be an entirely happy experience…

    Great tension, Paula!

  3. “Because the Crown wants it here and they don’t dare go against the king – yet.” I have a feeling this is very important. Great snippet!

  4. Your snippet drew me right in. I want to know what those memories are, too!

  5. What are these memories? You got me hooked. Great snippet.

  6. I have a bad feeling about this, it’s definitely not a place I would like to get in.

  7. Gem

    Lost memories in a place where wizards rule. Great set up. Now off to read the prologue.

    • Wizards don’t really rule (although one is trying). They are really unpopular in rural areas but are more accepted (as a rule) in cities and among the more educated members of society.

  8. Fairly simple scene, but the information is presented with tension and foreboding, that’s what gives strength to the snippet. Very good!

  9. elainecsc2013

    I’m so curious about these characters. Great excerpt.

  10. love lingering ghosts like half forgotten memories, they help build up the tension. Great work!

  11. I’m a sucker for lost memories… always intriguing. Nice one, P.T.! :)

  12. Will have to read the prologue … interested in his memories …. intriguing snippet.

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