More from Sanguine, a science fiction novel (still in progress) with elements of semi-paranormal M/M romance.
(Sanguine is out to my beta readers now, but still being refined and revised, so this is still a work in progress and the following lines may or may not have been hacked and recombined and creatively punctuated to fit into 10 sentences.)
If you want to pick up from the beginning, I started weekly excerpts from this in October.
Picking up where last week’s left of, although I skipped a few sentences.
And suddenly Kaen’s lips were on his, claiming him, and he was being pushed down onto the bed, Kaen’s body on top of his, and his world spun and tilted and he wrapped his arms around him, pulling him close, wanting to be taken…
One of Kaen’s fangs nicked the corner of his mouth and Kaen slowly sucked the blood from it and Gregor moaned and clutched at him. Kaen’s tongue sealed the cut and then he buried this face against Gregor’s neck.
“I want you,” Kaen groaned, kissing him again. He had finally found a mortal who had the power to match his own, and the desire for him was overwhelming. He wanted to possess him, and be possessed by him, and he knew that the only cure for this flesh-madness was to actually take and be taken.
“Take what is yours, Master,” Gregor panted, writhing and arching beneath him. “Take all of what is yours… Take what is your right…”
And Kaen’s lips were at his neck, helpless to resist the urge, the need, the desire… his own magnified by Gregor’s.
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He had finally found a mortal who had the power to match his own…”
Hmmm…intriguing.
This is the kind of scene I race through (in a good way :)). If you want to force me to slow down (maybe torture me a little before getting to the good part, because I’m all for that *g*), you might think about breaking each action into its own sentence. I had an “ah ha” moment in a class a couple of months ago when the instructor said this & it really makes a big difference–if that’s the way you want to go (if not, just ignore me). 😀
Thanks. I’ll do that when I get back to the story. (I’m not sure how creative my punctuation was for this segment…)
The line about finally finding a mortal was indeed hot.
Thanks! Gregor is the only mortal Kaen has found that he is unable to Compel.
Wow, there’s some incredible details in this snippet. It’s an engrossing read.
Thank you. I’m glad you enjoyed it.
Oh, that second paragraph . . . very, very nice. The rest is beautiful, too, but that’s the one that got me. So intimate and sensual!
(If you need a gamma reader for this, please keep me in mind! 🙂 )
Thanks, Sarah.
(And I just might take you up on that…)
Nature boy? ” take and be taken. ”
To love and be loved in return?
Well done!
Thanks!
I’m not sure of the rules (physical laws) of their universe, but their relationship certainly seems mutual.
Oh, it’s definitely mutual. Unfortunately, it’s TOO mutual…
TOO mutual? Now, that really is intriguing. 🙂
Thanks! They both want it too much which leads to some control issues as far as Kaen feeding from him.
Beautifully written.
A good passage!
Thank you!
Intense! Really enjoyed the snippet, I like these two characters and can’t wait for more of the entire story.
Thanks. I’m hoping to have the book out next month.
I’m a bit worried that Kaen might lose control. I hope he doesn’t accidentally go too far.
Kaen is worried about losing control too.
Hot and intense. Loved this snippet.