There’s all kinds of stuff written about “writing well.” Well, I’m not writing well: I’m writing ill. I woke up feeling tired and dragged out and like I’d been hit by a train. I put it down to maybe just not sleeping right, but then it hit me… No, not the train, a cold. (I think I would have preferred the train.)
So, I’m ill.
And I’m writing.
Well, to be totally honest I’ve spent more time looking at stuff on Face Book and staring at an open Word doc than actually typing, but the intent was there.
I’ve had all the mental focus of a zombie on speed, but I still managed to add a few words to my current novel. (Well, maybe “words” is too grand of a statement. I added some letters.)
And I think that that is what this blog post is about: pushing on.
Sure, there are lots of times when it’s easier to just say “I quit” and close the document and maybe even delete it. (Only to go frantically digging through your computer’s recycle bin until you find it again, brush it off, apologize, and kiss and make up…)
I’ve come close to doing that many times – wondering why I bother writing, if anyone even reads it, and the ever popular: “I totally suck and should burn all pens, papers, and pencils within reach” (which in my case would create quite a bonfire).
But (obviously) I haven’t done that. Why not?
Good question, actually…
Part of the answer is that I write because I enjoy it. (Most of the time.) I enjoy writing: I enjoy creating worlds and characters and stories and I want to know how the story ends, and the only way to find out is to keep writing.
And the hard parts? Well, no one ever said it was going to be easy all the time. (As Marsden tells Draethlen in one of the books in the Academy of the Accord series, “If it was easy, everyone would do it.” Granted, Marsden was talking about holding to the codes of a warrior, but the sentiment is the same – and sometimes slogging through the hard parts does feel like going into battle.)
And all you can do when you hit those times is press on. I wrote once before about sticking with a project and how it was like a marriage or other long term committed relationship.
I’ve recently been through the “worse” part of “for better or worse” (*cough*Book 4*cough*) and now I’m in the “sickness” phase of “in sickness and in health.” (Yeah, yeah, I know: it’s only a cold. I’d rather have the flu than a cold. You get more sympathy for the flu. Plus, you get over the flu – a cold lingers for forever.)
Still, I’m writing. I’m not writing well, but I’m writing.
I’m almost scared to look at what I’ve written once I have a clear functional brain cell, but I’m writing, and that’s all the matters.
(I’m writing ill — I’ll make it well later.)
(For the record, it has taken me nearly three hours to write the approximately 500 probably horrendously disjointed words you’ve just read. Now that is lack of focus!)